Focusing with a difficult decision

Now I am more aware of my feelings and needs when I have to make a decision. Nursing my child has been a wonderful link between us. There is part of me that would like to continue until my son decides to let go of it. But there is another part of me that says it is time to leave this stage. My body is asking to rest. I told this to my mother during a phone call. She has learned to reflect my words back to me when I am in touch with my felt sense. So as I listened freshly to what I had told her, there came a word that symbolized my felt sense perfectly. It was MOURNING. This is the meaning of what I have been feeling. When I found that word, I felt peace all over my body. I felt lighter, and the rest of the day I felt whole, without the exhaustion I had been experiencing.                                                      —Heazel Martínez, Focusing El Salvador